Bad music

I found this list of songs reportedly used for the purposes of torture (via).

First of all, I have to say that no one, even the worst composer/songwriter, deserves to have their creative works used in the infliction of torture.

I’m not really going to revise my list of worst songs. Earlier this year, I remember thinking that one of the biggest recent songs, “All About That Bass” was one of the worst songs ever. Since then, having heard it several times more, I’ve decided that it is nowhere near as bad as the ones I’ve already listed. And indeed, I don’t really really mind hearing the songs I previously listed every so often; it’s really the genres rather than the songs per se.

However, since it is the holiday season, I do see fit to list what I see as some of the worst Christmas songs:

• “River”: I’ve never liked this song.
• “Last Christmas”: Actually, my problem isn’t with the song itself. The problem is that this song is so ridiculously overplayed that anyone can get sick of it.
• The novelty ones: The worst novelty ones are “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas”, “All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth”. I’m lumping them together and won’t dignify them by giving them their own entries.
• “The Christmas Shoes”: I interpret the last verse to be saying that God is killing someone’s mom in order to teach someone else the “true meaning of Christmas”. Enough already.
• “Baby It’s Cold Outside”: The sooner this duet melts away the better. And has anyone actually listened to the lyrics? They ought to turn anyone off.

However, I will eventually have to revise my personal list of best Christmas songs. While the top three remain the same (in a different order) two other ones will surely make it. I’ll choose one and post a video of the “winner” tomorrow. The other one will have to wait until next year.