Anything worth talking about, is worth blogging about

Exactly three years ago today, a column was published at WingNutDaily that was so completely and utterly full of ridiculous persecution fantasies, it reads like the rantings of someone who had not only gone off the deep end, but gone off the rails carrying the deep end as well.

The column in question is this one. It is by Janet Porter (then Folger). Adopting the perspective of a prisoner writing a letter to the outside world, Porter makes various “predictions” of what will happen to Christians in the wake of the Democratic capture of the US presidency in 2008.

A further discussion of her “Letter from a future prisoner” is after the jump. Before going ahead, make sure that no drinks are on your desk as her column is so full of shit that you’re likely to spill them, and I don’t want you to wreck your keyboard.

To the Resistance:

I’m writing this letter from prison, where I’ve been since the beginning of 2010. As far as I can tell, Porter’s never been in jail. Indeed, she still has a column at WingNutDaily (cite), hardly what I expect someone in jail to be doing. 0 marks out of 1. Since Hillary was elected in ’08,…  Hillary Clinton was not the Democratic nominee in 2008; Barack Obama was. This alone out to make this prediction fail. 0 marks out of 2. …Christian persecution in America has gotten even worse than we predicted. You would think, considering that Obama is supposedly a communist, fascist, socialist Kenyan Indonesian Muslim election–stealing usurper hell–bent on establishing a personality cult and taking over the world, Clinton couldn’t be as bad as that, could she? Joking aside, Christians are an overwhelming majority of people in the US, with most politicians being a member of that religion, and having some holy days be statutory holidays. They are not being persecuted. Real victims of persecution would laugh at what passes for persecution in wingnut circles. 0 marks out of 3.

When the so-called “Fairness Doctrine” was signed into law, my radio program was yanked off the air along with all the others that dared discuss moral issues on Christian radio. Porter used to have a radio show on VCY America. This May, her show was dropped due to her increasing adoption of Dominion theology, not due to any requests from any government (cite). Since she is correct that her show is off the air, but totally wrong on the reasons, I’ll give her half a mark, which is way more charitable than I think she deserves. 0.5 marks out of 4. The networks just couldn’t bring themselves to air a pro-abortion program or one that advocates the homosexual agenda for the government mandated “balance” because broadcasting lies went against their basic beliefs – I don’t blame them. The fairness doctrine has not been reinstated. 0.5 marks out of 5.

We knew “Thought Crimes” was in danger of becoming law back when it passed Congress in 2007, but thankfully, President Bush kept his promise to veto it. But, tragically, Hillary signed that most dangerous bill in America – ushering in the criminalization of Christianity. It appears that she is referring to the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act. Although the bill was indeed passed and signed into law, it contains a specific “rule of construction” prohibiting it from being used to infringe on freedom of religion, freedom of expression, or other rights guaranteed by the First Amendment (cite). Another counterexample is the fact that Fred Phelps is still free to express his views. Since the MSJBJHCPA actually did become law, I’ll give her half a mark, which is again more charitable than she deserves. 1 mark out of 6. And now, even my book, “The Criminalization of Christianity,” has been banned as “hate speech” just as I predicted when I wrote it back in 2005. Her book has not been banned. It’s still available from Amazon.com (cite), for example. 1 mark out of 7.

When the “Employment Non-Discrimination Act” (“Thought Crimes” for the Workplace) became law, businesses and ministries were targeted by homosexual activists and were forced to close when they wouldn’t comply with a law forcing them to hire those opposed to their beliefs on moral issues. ENDA hasn’t even been passed by the United States congress, let alone signed into law. 1 mark out of 8.

When they canceled my program, banned my book and targeted my ministry, I knew it was only a matter of time before I’d be forced into “prison ministry” against my will. Unfortunately for our nation, that ministry is growing fast. None of these have happened, or have happened the way she predicted they would happen (for example, she can’t be in a prison ministry as she’s not in jail). As these basically duplicate her previous predictions, I won’t grade this part. A homeschooling mom was assigned the cell next to me. I try to comfort her, but she cries constantly at the thought of her kids being raised in government foster care. Homeschooling is legal throughout the US. No one has been jailed solely due to homeschooling their kids. 1 mark out of 9.

The forced labor here makes me think that I should have done more for our brothers and sisters in China sent to labor camps for the crime of hosting a home church, or those imprisoned in every Muslim country for choosing Christ over Allah. We should have seen the writing on the wall when Yahoo turned over confidential searches to the Chinese government, sending people to prison,… No predictions here. What Porter is referring to is actual, real life religious persecution, as opposed to what wingnuts are always falsely claiming is religious persecution. …and when Google barred American Christian sites from its search engines as “haters.” Finding allied ministries is now almost impossible. It is not difficult to find Christian sites through Google; for example, Focus on the Family still shows up (cite). 1 mark out of 10.

Most didn’t see it coming. I try not to think about how the 2009 “Freedom of Choice Act” wiped out every single pro-life law from parental notice to the ban on partial birth abortion. I support the Freedom of Choice Act, but it hasn’t even come to a vote in several years. 1 mark out of 11. And how “anti-reproductive rights” was added to the “Thought Crime” statute, which, like California before the election, means a year in jail if someone claims to feel “intimidated” by anything a pro-lifer might do – like express their beliefs in public. If you read the act, you’ll find that the protected classes does not include one’s views of abortion (cite). 1 mark out of 12.

But, like the homeschool mom in the cell beside me, I cry too. I cry mostly because it didn’t have to be this way. Just three years ago – in 2007 – we had a chance to unite and achieve our lifetime goals of restoring protection to children in the womb, and protecting our foundational relationship of marriage between a man and a woman. And now the suggestion of it is treated like the illegal mention of a “mom” or “dad” to the California School Board. In general, it appears that the Republican Party has no real intention of banning same–sex marriage or abortion. They had complete control of the US Federal Government six years, and basically the only thing they did was enact the Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act, which didn’t prevent one single abortion. However, they’re happy to let the sex–obsessed base continue believing that they’ll ban same–sex marriage and abortion, because they are excellent vote motivators.

Porter then has an edited version of Martin Niemöller’s First they came… which we can skip.

Porter concludes her “Letter from a future prisoner” with a lamentation for how the religious right wrong could not get behind a candidate, and how they should (have) nominate(d) Mike Huckabee. The actual fact is that religious right wrong leaders did support the Republicans in 2008, albeit reluctantly, especially before Palin became McCain’s running mate. Indeed, McCain was described as “…undoubtedly be the only presidential candidate in history who will get the votes of millions of people who pray to God he wins, and just as sincerely hope that he then dies at the Inaugural Ball.” (cite) As the Republicans did sort of never warm to McCain, and didn’t nominate Huckabee, I’ll be generous and give her a mark here. 2 marks out of 13.

The last prediction in Porter’s “Letter from a future prisoner” is: ...we never would have seen the Supreme Court appointments of Charles Schumer and Diane Feinstein. If only there were a way to go back in time to change … (her ellipses) Actually, Obama nominated Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan. I would have preferred someone like  Pam Karlan, or Dawn Johnsen, myself. 2 marks out of 14. I’ve gotta go. The guard spotted me writing again. The Democrats will never imprison people for thought crimes. Therefore, Porter will be perfectly safe.

All in all, Porter got 2 predictions out of 14 correct, and I was being generous and charitable. That’s 14.3%. Unfuckingbelievable. Aren’t you glad Janet Porter’s such a brilliant prophet?

We conclude this discussion of Porter’s “Letter from a future prisoner” with an examination of what the Bible says should happen to false prophets. Recall that the Bible is a book Janet Porter undoubtedly believes. These sections are specifically Deuteronomy 13:1–10, Deuteronomy 17:2–7, and Deuteronomy 18:20–22.


Click here to see where I got the title of this post from.

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