Whether you call him a asshat, nutjob, wingnut, or asshole, Dennis Prager is still a consie and a crazy one at that. His most recent column is the latest in sexist consie nonsense. A paragraph by paragraph debunking/response follows.
Throughout this debunking, anything he says that I quote is in bold italics; anything I say is in normal font. This is basically a response to each of his paragraphs. The numbering system is such that each paragraph gets an Arabic numeral (there are 32) and each sentence gets a number (so that a reference looks like 14B, for example).
1A: Considering that there is an economic crisis ongoing worldwide, and that here in Canada there was just a constitutional crisis, while in the US there is a presidential transition, I’d say an occupation with the economy or politics is understandable, especially if you might soon lose your job. Nice to know yours is safe, consie. Most people have no time for micro issues when the macro issues are more important. 1B: Heretical is really a consiespeak synonym for misogynist, sexist, or anti-woman. And always focusing on saving marriages, even if it means battered women’s shelters are full to the brim.
2A: If people have the right to have sex with their spouse, they have the right not to to. And men have better things to do than obsess about sex all day, and if you’re getting frustrated by someone you live with you should stop living with them and file for divorce. And what’s your evidence that this is a frequent problem in marriages?
3A: Women also have better things to do than obsess about sex all day. 3B: Based on the rest of the advice given here, I glad it won’t be addressed. 3C: And if someone doesn’t want to have sex, that’s fine with me. If someone has the right to have sex with their partner, they also have the right not to. And what’s the evidence that this is so common? Or is it only in the fantasylands of consieland and fundieland? And based on our demeaning attitude toward women having sex, how could she possibly have a happy sex life? What we should do is stop shaming women for daring to have sex on their own terms.
4A: Having sex with someone who doesn’t want it is rape. Anyone who does that deserves to be thrown in jail for life. And marital rape is too common; for example, in the United Kingdom, 45% of victims are victimized by a current partner, including her spouse. 4B: There are other ways to show love to someone besides having sex with them, such as sacrificing your life to save your partners? And stop blaming the woman, consie. If a woman does not want to have sex, she does not want to have sex. Period.
5A, 5B, 5C: For woman, when they are having sex (of the potentially procreative kind, because consies always act like that’s the only “proper way” to do it) she is being penetrated. 5D: What makes you so certain of this? 5E: And what makes you so certain women are inherently ignorant?
6A, 6B, 6C, 6D: Wouldn’t it be better to talk to each other? 6E: Consies and fundies spend loads of time shaming women for having sex and for being female. It’s women who are humiliated and blamed.
Paragraphs 7-13 are a short list of reactions, with a header and a footer, followed by detailed explanations. I skip them because they are covered later.
14, 15A, 15B: I have no evidence that this happens. And men’s sexual nature does not seem to be that different from women’s. A biology textbook (Understanding Biology, 3rd edition. Peter Raven & George Johnson. Wm. C. Brown Publishers. 1995. pp 821-22) offers no indication that men’s sex drives or nature are profoundly different … or … more primitive than women’s in any of the states of excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.
16A: It’s impossible to give your body to someone else. And during coitus, don’t both people share the experience? It must be fun for both sexes, as if it wasn’t, no humans would have evolved. 16B: Right, because men don’t judge woman by how good their sex is.
17A, 17B, 17C, 17D: This is advocating an oppressive view of sex. If you’re married to someone like this, get a divorce. Today.
18A: I’d hope so. Anyone who does not take that into account is evil. 18B According to p 822 of the same textbook I referenced earlier, sex also serves the purpose of pair bonding. But if you find that twiddling your partner’s thumbs the ultimate in pair bonding, go ahead. I won’t interfere. And you have the right not to have sex with your partner. 18C: Each partner’s level of excessiveness with probably differ from the other’s. 18D: More misogyny and treating women like sex servants.
19: Wrong. Men and women are human. And humans are animals.
20A, 20B, 20C: Humans are animals, and analogous responses to intercourse undoubtedly happen in male and female eutherian mammals. Humans are mammals. 20D, 20E: XX and XY are the karyotypes for females and males respectively. And if God hates female sex so much, why did he give woman a menstrual cycle? An estrous cycle would vastly reduce female sex drives to only a handful of times a year. Look! No more whores! Woooooooo! 20F, 20G, 20H, 20I, 20J, 20K, 20L: This is hypocritical. He implies that men are crazy about sex (they aren’t; 47% of men don’t think about sex so much as 1 time a day). If a woman was like that she’d surely be called a whore or a slut. Only in a consie fantasyland do spouses remain faithful. However, consie fantasyland does not exist. 50% of men and 26% of women have had extramarital sex. So get over it. Adultery will happen regardless of what you do and say. And more woman blaming, blaming the woman for her husband’s infidelity. The husband should take responsibility for his own actions, not pass off blame to the woman.
21, 22A, 22B, 22C, 22D: If your spouse is too tired to give clear consent, and you have sex, that’s rape. And if your tired partner does give consent, who the hell wants to have sex with someone too tired to participate fully?
23A: Congratulations, Dennis Prager. You actually got something right. If I was hating my spouse, I soon be hating my ex spouse. 23B, 23C, 23D, 23E, 23F, 23G: Perhaps people want companionship? During a survey done in my high school sex ed, during the part that was single-sex, companionship was the #1 choice in what we wanted out of a partner. Fewer than a quarter chose sex. 23H: Expecting women to marry a wife beater if he is rich, huh? 23I: Only in a fundie fantasyland with traditional gender roles does this apply. Not in the real world. I am male and I contribute to housework here.
24A, 24B: If femininity is so defined by being sexual, why make such a big deal about it when unmarried women do it? Of course, in fundiespeak, that means she is a whore.
25: More turning women into sex servants for men. What misogyny!
26, 27A, 27B: Communication in marriage is good. And when your spouse says no, any rational and decent person knows that they should not initiate sex. No means no. 27C: If mothers can read minds, why aren’t a bunch of them in Waziristan helping to track down Bin Laden?
28A: Sex should not happen whenever one partner says no. Intercourse after one partner says no is rape. 28B: It’s not your business nor my business what factors a couple decides to use when deciding to have sex. And debunking is a lot of fun, so I look forward to next week.
29, 30A: This is consiespeak for a woman who has submitted herself to her husband so much that she is a sex servant. Women are persons. If a woman gets married, she is still a person. Her needs are separate from her husband’s. 30B: Women deserve sexual fulfillment just as much as men do. 30C: Have you asked 20000 men how satisfied they are with their sex lives? And ask 20000 women too, because their fulfillment matters as much as men’s. 30D: Women have to be happy too. Happy people love their spouses more.
31: Coming next week to a blog near you: Part 2 of the divorces were a great move!
32A: Debunking this was fun! 32B: In fundieland, women are unable to get divorces from bad men. 32C: Let’s stop blaming women. And husbands should want their wives to be happy. If your husband doesn’t want that, get a divorce. 32D: Consies and fundies would love it if there was no way to achieve these conditions. To them, women only matter as baby-making machines. That’s misogyny. 32E: The most important thing for you is that you matter and that you aren’t denied your rights. If your husband abuses you, rapes you, or tries to diminish your rights, get a divorce. 32F: Typical consie and fundie attitudes: put everything on the woman.
That concludes the debunking and response. As a final note, I make the observation that Prager has been divorced twice. Let me say that based on what I have seen, the divorces were a great move.